letzte Kommentare / genial mondtanz


15
November
.

Analysis is the process of breaking a complex topic or substance into smaller parts to gain a better understanding of it. The technique has been applied in the study of mathematics and logic since before Aristotle (384–322 B.C.), though analysis as a formal concept is a relatively recent development.

Analysis of a feel.



I am marking different spots. The time before, the time close before, the Contact, a close time after the contact, the detachment, the time after, and everytime after this.
The point alpha is the warm feel of tingle at my sternum. Beta stands for the feeling of something got ripped out of me. Gamma stands for the heavy weight on my chest. The amount of good feelings is positiv, the bad feeling negativ. Its maximum of its positiv and negativ, score to a value of two. Lambda is the nervousness and/or toutness, and eta is the rate of my heartbeat.

I was pretty nervous as I entered the basementdoor. I am not shy or something like this, but.. It causes of the way I will treat her. I want to feel close and connected, even with my words. So if I wont come over this point with her, the point I can feel accepted as who I am, I am forced to be like this. Its kinda stupid, cause I dont think that we will reach this point so far, even we are only friends, but I am not able to lay down this shield controlled by irational feelings.
I felt a bit strained at the time we drank and smoked. After this, at the time we wached a movie together, I thought that our legs touched each other. It was a little bit an incredible feeling, and I felt happy. After a while I noticed, that it was the influence of the drug, and our legs did not touched. Over all the time she layed next to me, I felt this tingle on my chest, directly above my sternum.
The moment we huged each other to say good bye, it was an incredible high felling, and a deep dark at the same time. Cause immediately after the good bye, it felt like some hand grabs in my chest and rip something out. This feeling really teared me apart.
If this empty feeling is gone, the heavy one beginns. Like if someone is sitting on my chest and throat. I could cry in these moments.

Additionally I have to clear my disappointment with rational and sober thoughts. End of process.

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